yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
