Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
