today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
