I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
