Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
