are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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