You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize