im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
pray to the hookup gods
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
