actually, I'm a sock model
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize