My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
