Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Randomize
