Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
