Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
