Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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