When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
