I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Couch. On fire.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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