I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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