I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
