Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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