i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
the day after is always just damage control
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
