i don't plan on having that self control this summer
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
