The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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