Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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