Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
it glows. i had to have it.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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