Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
