So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
