he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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