omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
