someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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