Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
