I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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