I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
