was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
