you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
