Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
