If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
