i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
