we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I am available for nakedness
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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