it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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