the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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