had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
