I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
