I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
You may now shotgun with the bride
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Randomize
