Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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