i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize