I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
