He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
