Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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