hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
