the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
It's not a walk of shame if you run
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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