today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
