I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
