worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
