I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
