I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
