pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Sorry my hands just texted you
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
