I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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